


Lancaster: Mummer's Stilts

by RWBY Dialogues (Weatherman667)



Category: RWBY
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-06
Updated: 2019-11-06
Packaged: 2021-01-24 06:20:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21333643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Weatherman667/pseuds/RWBY%20Dialogues
Summary: Ruby wants to ask Jaune out, but comes to the conclusion that he likes sophisticated ladies.  The only sophisticated lady she knows is Weiss, and so starts to mimic her, ladystilts and all.LancasterPre-FallUnderaged because of Ruby.
Relationships: Jaune Arc/Ruby Rose
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	1. Chapter 1

Yang: *enter's RWBY's room*

Ruby: *in a nice dress, wobbling in heels*

Yang: Lookin' good, sis.

Ruby: I'll have you know...

Ruby: *nearly falls over*

Ruby: *regains her balance*

Ruby: I'm going to be a sophisticated lady. Hmph.

Yang: If you want to be Weiss, you've going to have to get better at being huffy.

Ruby: *mimics Weiss' huffiness*

Ruby: One thing at a time.

Yang: Are you really trying to be Weiss?

Ruby: I'm going to be sophisticated lady.

Ruby: *wobbles*

Ruby: Nothing wrong with a little sophistication. You might have picked the path of the boartusk, but I have not.

Ruby: *mimics Weiss' huffiness*

Ruby: Did I say that right? Boartusk?

Weiss (as she enters the room): B - o - o - r, boor. Rude, churlish, unmannerly.

Yang: Manners aren't exactly my strong suit.

Weiss: What do I owe the? *gestures to Ruby up and down* honour?

Ruby: Something wrong with trying to be a bit more sophisticated?

Ruby: *mimics Weiss' huffiness*

Weiss: Do I really sound like that?

Yang: No, but she's getting better.

Weiss: If... *pauses* ...your goal is truly to be more sophisticated, I would be happy to school you in the arts of the upper classes.

Ruby: School? Makes it sound like you're going to give me homework...

Yang: Well, you are... you know... wearing heels.

Ruby: *attempts Weiss perfect posture, but wobbles about*

Ruby: I will have you know they are ladystilts, thank you very much.

Weiss: They are heels. They aren't even that high.

Ruby: Maybe by your standards...

Yang: How high are high heels?

Weiss: Well, for ladies not engaged in combat, like myself, 5 or 6 inches.

Ruby: *wobbles*

Ruby: Okay, now those are ladystilts.

Weiss: *sighs*

Weiss: *walks over to Ruby*

Weiss: *puts her hand on Ruby's stomach and the small of her back, steadying her*

Weiss: The secret is to stick out your posterior.

Ruby: *snickers*

Ruby: *nearly falls over*

Weiss: *steadies Ruby*

Weiss: *gives Ruby a stern look*

Ruby: Oh, come on, relax.

Weiss: That is one thing you cannot do in lady stil... heels. And I am completely serious.

Ruby: Yeah, right, like the secret to ladystilts is just to stick your butt out.

Yang: To be fair, it is.

Ruby: *readjusts under Weiss' tender care, sticking out her butt*

Ruby: Okay. What the hell? Why the hell did that work?

Weiss: Because. Ruby. That is the entire point of high heels.

Ruby: Nooooo?

Weiss: *stern face*

Ruby: You're serious. You're seriously serious?

Weiss: This is my seriously serious face.

Weiss: *weak smile escapes*

Weiss: It's difficult being serious trying to talk like you.

Ruby: *giggles*

Ruby: *wobbles*

Ruby: *sticks her butt out to stabilize herself*

Ruby: Right. Forgot to stick my butt out. So, the ENTIRE point of ladystilts is to make my butt look good?

Weiss: Of course. why else did you think we wore them?

Ruby: I don't know. They look pretty cool, especially on you.

Weiss: Well... thank you.

Yang: So, rich people are just as silly and perverted as the rest of us.

Weiss: *rolls her eyes*

Weiss: You... could... say it... that way...

Ruby: *wobbles*

Ruby: Butt out.

Weiss: Please don't say that every time?

Ruby: I'll just try to think it from now on.

Ruby: Butt out.

Weiss: *sighs*

Ruby: Oh, right.

Ruby: *mimics Weiss' huffiness*

Weiss: I do NOT sound like that.

Weiss: *huffs*

Yang: Yeah, Weiss is much better at it.

Ruby: She just has a lot more practice. I'm sure I'll be able to huff with the best of them.

Weiss: That... is not... that's not what it means to be sophisticated.

Ruby: Well, excuse me, because you are BY FAR the most sophisticate person I know, so you're the only one I have to copy.

Weiss: *breathes in deep*

Weiss (blushing): Well, thank you.

Nora (walking by the door): Lookin' good, Ruby.

Jaune: *stops in the doorway and stares*

Ruby: *wobbles, nearly falling over*

Weiss: *catches her*

Jaune: Uh... looking good, Ruby.

Nora (shouting from down the hall): Leader!

Jaune: Coming!

Jaune: Uh, girls.

Jaune: *light bow and then marches off down the corridor*

Yang: And she was doing so well.

Blake: And what was that?

Blake: *stops in the doorway*

Weiss: *hands on Ruby's stomach and the small of her back*

Blake: I honestly don't know what to say.

Ruby: *mimics Weiss' huffiness*

* * *

Ruby: *wobbles down the corridor*

Ruby: Almost... there...

Jaune: Ruby? You need help there?

Ruby: *nearly falls over*

Jaune: *catches her and steadies her*

Ruby: *turns bright red*

Ruby: I... I... I...

Ruby: *steadies herself*

Ruby: *slowly turns to Jaune*

Ruby: *tries to curtsey*

Ruby: *nearly falls over, Jaune ready to catch her again*

Ruby: *regains her balance*

Ruby: I did it! *right arm stretched forward, left leg stretched back*

Jaune: Do you want any help?

Ruby: I'm... good...

Ruby: *slowly regains her balance*

Ruby: Just need to *sticks her butt out*

Ruby: There! I must remember the most important principle of ladystilts!

Jaune: Which is?

Ruby: It's a secret. A silly, sexy secret.

Jaune: Uh-huh.

Ruby: Thank you for your assistance.

Ruby: *wobbles a bit before turning to walk away*

* * *

Jaune: *knocks on RWBY's door*

Weiss: *opens the door*

Jaune: I... am... worried... about...

Weiss: She will be quite alright.

Jaune: If you say so.

Weiss: Your concern, however, is appreciated. Thank you.

Jaune: Uh... you're welcome.


	2. Chapter 2

Ruby: Aside from when Jaune distracted me, I made it without a problem.

Weiss: He does seem to be distracting you lately.

Ruby: I don't know you are talking about. On a completely unrelated note, I need someone to take sexy pictures of me.

Blake: I... suppose that I could...

* * *

Jaune: *scroll vibrates*

Jaune: *grabs the scroll*

Jaune: Well, that's weird.

Nora: What kind of weird?

Jaune: A sexy kind of weird.

Jaune: *shows Nora a sexy picture of Ruby in a provocative pose, in her evening dress and heels*

Nora: Okay, yes, quite sexy.

Jaune: I know, right?

Ren: And the weird part?

Jaune: Why is she sending it to me?

Nora: *sighs*

Nora: Jaune, Jaune, Jaune... What are we going to do with you?

Ren: That is a perfectly legitimate question.

Pyrrha: Can I see?

Jaune: *shows Pyrrha*

Pyrrha: Is that what you like?

Jaune: Uh... well, yes is gorgeous.

Nora: Hella sexy.

Jaune (texting): We all think you are damn gorgeous.

* * *

Ruby: *squeals*

Ruby: He says I'm damn gorgeous!

Weiss: He says they ALL say she's damn gorgeous. What is that assinine oaf doing?

Blake: Perhaps the problem with sending a picture to someone who is clueless to your true intents and considers you a friend among friends.

Weiss: I will give you that. He still shouldn't have shown everyone.

Yang: It's not like she was naked or anything. Which, speaking of...

Yang: *grabs Ruby*

Ruby: *giggles*

Ruby: I'm not going to...

Yang: It's either that or talk to him and tell him how you feel.

Ruby: You're right, the naked selfies would be much easier.

Weiss: YOU ARE NOT SENDING HIM NAKED SELFIES.

Yang: Chill, ice queen, I'd send you mine if you wanted.

Weiss: If I wanted what? You could not possibly mean?

Yang: *sexy eyebrow raising*

Weiss: *scoffs*

Weiss: *huffs*

Yang: Your loss.

Weiss: She needs to talk to him.

Ruby: Weeeiiiiiissssss...

Weiss: I will be there if you need me.

Ruby: That actually might...

* * *

Jaune: *scroll rings*

Jaune: Uh, hello?

Weiss: We request that you come to our room immediately.

Jaune: Uh... sure? Be right there.

* * *

Yang: *opens the door*

Jaune: *enters RWBY's room*

Yang: *closes the door*

Yang: *stands in front of the door*

Jaune: Uh, okay?

Jaune: *looks around to see Blake in front of the window*

Weiss: Jaune.

Jaune: *looks over to see Weiss behind Ruby, both on Weiss' bed*

Weiss: *nudges Ruby*

Ruby: Oh, right. Hey, Jaune. How's it going?

Weiss: Ruby!

Ruby: *shivers*

Ruby: Oh, uh, how do I look?

Jaune: Beautiful.

Ruby: *blushes and tries to hide her face in her hands*

Weiss: *slaps Ruby's hands away*

Ruby: Weeeiiiiiissssss...

Weiss: *huffs*

Ruby: *mimics Weiss' huffiness*

Ruby: Jaune, you have been so good to us, and we would like to thank you.

Jaune: Uh, yeah. You're quite welcome.

Jaune: *looks about the room*

Weiss: *nudges Ruby*

Ruby: Hm, yes. The reason we have...

Weiss: You... the reason **you** invited him.

Ruby: The reason **I** invited you... Okay, so, I'm kind of crushing on you.

Ruby: Eep.

Ruby: *tries to hide behind her hands*

Weiss: *slaps Ruby's hands*

Weiss: Not the best, but you did finally confess.

Ruby: I mean... I did... didn't I?..

Jaune: You love me?

Ruby: Oh my God *hides behind her hands, momentarily surprised that Weiss did not stop her*

Weiss: And your reply?

Jaune: Is that why she's... in heels?

Ruby: Well, you are always drooling after Weiss... and she's so posh and elegant and poofy... and I thought that's what you liked and I can't believe I'm still talking, please, Weiss, Yang, Blake, someone stop me...

Weiss: *covers her mouth*

Ruby: *muffled Thank You*

Jaune: I haven't been drooling...

Blake: I have seen you drool at least once.

Jaune: Okay, maybe once, and maybe yes, Weiss is gorgeous and graceful... and... but that doesn't mean the rest of you aren't also beauty.

Yang: Wait, what?

Blake: You do know... I'm... right?

Jaune: I've seen your ears and they are adorable.

Ruby: And what about me?

Jaune: Extra adorable.

Ruby: I'm extra adorable?

Jaune: Super extra double adorable.

Yang: I?..

Weiss: Are you saying that she?.. and me?.. and I mean... this is what we were looking for.

Jaune: And so sexy in heels.

Weiss: Which one.

Jaune: I invoke my right to non-self-incrimination.

Ruby: So, are you going to go out with me?

Jaune: I don't see why not?

Weiss: Why not?

Jaune: Well, she's cute, fun, is literally the first person to talk to me because she wanted to... and quite frankly, sexy in heels.

Weiss: Why thank you.

Ruby: It really means a lot to me. But under Mistress Weiss' teaching, I will become a posh, elegant, princess fit for my knight.

Jaune: Your who?

Weiss: *HUFFFS!*

Weiss: *huffs*

Weiss: You, you ignorant doofus! You are her knight!

Jaune: How am I a knight?

Weiss: What with the armour and sword and shield and chivalry shinning light of happiness.

Jaune: I'm what?

Weiss: I will admit that your come-ons were boorish at best and boring at worst, but you do have a quaint charm that brightens our lives. If you repeat this to anyone, I will vehemently deny it.

Jaune: *hands in the air* Okay.

Weiss: VEHEMENTLY DENY IT! But since you are going out with Ruby I would like to say it has been wonderful to spend time with you, and it is a delight to have in our lives. And I must repeat that I will VEHEMENTLY DENY IT!

Nora: YOU KNOW WE CAN HEAR YOU SHOUTING?!, RIGHT?!

Jaune: *stares are Yang*

Yang: Sorry, still surprised to hear I'm gorgeous.

Weiss: He is probably curious as to what Ruby's protective older sister thinks of this.

Yang: If there's anyone I can trust with Ruby, it has to be Jaune. I will still hurt him if he hurts her.

Jaune: And rightly so.

Yang: Uh... yeah... we agree...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted on my [RWBY Dialogues](https://rwbyvein.tumblr.com/post/188870703435/lancaster-mummers-stilts-part-ii) Tumblog.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on my [RWBY Dialogue](https://rwbyvein.tumblr.com/post/188857580989/lancaster-mummers-stilts-part-i) Tumblog.


End file.
